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Rachel at Parajunkee's View,
which you really must go and check out!!
Rachel not only has fabulous features,
but is a web designer
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This week's featured blog is:
Here's today's question, which is so thought-provoking!!
What are you doing to prepare for an upcoming zombie apocalypse and/or the return of Mel Gibson to the silver screen? (Both of which could be terrifying.)
How interesting that Parajunkee has discovered the title and subject matter of Mel's next film, which he is currently in the process of directing! (Of course, he couldn't resist a starring role, as well, so the makeup artists are currently hard at work trying to make him look believable -- as a human, that is.) My, my, not much is a secret nowadays, what with paparazzi hiring detectives to track down celebrities no matter where they might be ensconced, or with film gophers being on the take...
So yes, folks, you're hearing it here for the very first time! Long before it appears on perezhilton.com or tmz.com! Now, of course I can't divulge my sources, save to say that one of them recently had his communication tentacles removed, so as to remain as anonymous and inconspicuous as possible...
Good ol' Mel is now into the business of announcing doom and gloom with an evangelistic zeal! He has confessed that he is weary of scandal and slanderous attacks against his person, stressing the transparently obvious (to him, at least) fact that he is neither a racist nor a woman-bashing, hysterical monster. As proof of this, he has given his ex-girlfriend the title role in this upcoming film masterpiece. She is the Queen of the Zombies, and he has guaranteed that she will still be around at the end of the epic -- as the apocalyptic interpreter of hidden revelations in an Amazon jungle!
What must we do in order to prepare for the unveiling of this incredibly masterful piece of film arcana, which is sure to go down in the annals of film history as the 'piece de resistance' by the infamous, embattled Mr. Gibson?
Because you see, this will be a documentary. Mr. Gibson has assured our informants (down, boy!) that his film will be an accurate depiction of the Great Apocalypto, er, Apocalypse to come!!
Well. That is indeed 'the million-dollar-question', is it not? In order to answer it in a comprehensive manner, I have decided to publish a series of...er...survival manuals, if such a term is appropriate. Gads! Perhaps I am divulging too much gossip (otherwise known as information, in some journalistic quarters) here.... Well, so be it! I have already let slip some goodies, so I might as well go the whole nine yards, and devil take it! (Which character has a juicy role in the epic, as well!)
As I was writing...these survival manuals, or apocalyptic instruction binders, which will, I assure you, be chock-full of, well, apocalyptic survival instructions, can be had for the very modest price of $ 150.00 per quarterly volume, which can be conveniently paid for in five easy payments of $29.99! (Of course, taxes plus S/H are extra.)
But wait....(this just in!) If you contact this blog now, we'll knock off one payment, and throw in -- completely free -- Mel's newest publication, titled Misogynistic Pick-Up Lines Guaranteed to Get You a First Date, which is a featured Book-of-the-Month only this week. As an alternative, we also have his 2008 bestseller, Jammin' with the KKK: A Musical Evening with the South's Oldest Organization. So hurry!!!
(This offer is only valid in the USA. Every other country can fend for themselves. Offer expires when the first zombie blows the horn announcing the Apocalypse, which will take place as previously scheduled, on Saturday, June 11, 2011, at 6:00 PM local time. Stay tuned for regular updates.)